Conventional thinking is that it is good and healthy to express anger. While withholding anger is certainly not in anyone’s best interest, using anger to get others to change their behavior carries with it many negative consequences.
My anger seemed to be deeply ingrained in my system and it
Was I born with this anger? – my intuition said no.
Was it a learned response and if so to what? Yes, I learned to use anger to get my way and to protect my sensitive nature from my inner feelings of fear, pain, helplessness
How did I feel about myself when I acted out in anger? When I asked that question I learned that I felt at that moment I was not good enough, lovable or adequate.
So actually, in truth my anger is an expression of my weakness and confusion, not my strength. Being afraid to show my vulnerable feelings is a reflection of my fear that I might be judged by others, and more importantly by myself as weak, unmanly, bad, wrong, stupid, or that I can’t handle my softer feelings and I will be rejected, or that I will be manipulated into doing things that I really don’t want to do.
I have come to understand that when my anger is manipulative it does not contain compassion and a desire to learn and therefore, is not coming from my heart and I am not in oneness.
This is the first in a series of articles and discussions with Dr. Jordan Paul, PhD.
Excerpts from Dr. Paul’s article ANGER or REAL STRENGTH
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