“4 steps to Breaking The Anger Habit”

Anger is a response learned in childhood to protect us

from the vulnerable feelings that lie beneath the protection.

Four steps that have helped me break the anger habit and reverse the negative consequences that inevitably accompany it are: Awareness, Returning to Center, Learning and Cleaning Up Messes.

Step 1. Awareness – Anger indicates a disconnection from the heart. (Words that to me are the same as heart include: soul, center, essence, true self, authentic self, or Spirit.)  A heart connection is accompanied by compassion and an openness to learning.  When we have committed to being heart-connected more of the time, this awareness gives us choice.  Without it we’re stuck blaming others for our anger, making excuses for it or self-righteously justifying it.  With the awareness that our anger has triggered something in us we take personal responsibility for our choice to either continue being angry or do something that returns us to our center.

Step 2. Returning to center – We all know how to return to center.

Such behaviors include: taking a deep breath (or 2 or more), doing a physical activity such as running around the block, dancing or pounding a pillow, putting on a piece of music that opens our heart, taking a walk in nature, (doing something that makes you smile awhile – editor’s note) or free form writing of our feelings.

Step 3. Learning – Once we’re back in our center we can learn more about the fears and beliefs that got us off center and what we can do to resolve those fears by bringing our beliefs into alignment with our heart.

Step 4. Cleaning up messes – Anger has a negative effect both on ourselves and our relationship with those at the other end of our anger.  Cleaning up these effects means taking responsibility for disrespecting others and expressing our sadness to those whom we have disrespected.  This is essential for rebuilding the trust that is eroded by our anger.

Judging ourselves for getting angry makes taking responsibility much more difficult.  Seeing anger as merely a disconnection from our heart rather than as bad or wrong makes it easier.  The analogy that I use that has made it much easier to not blame myself can be seen at,

Guest writer Dr. Jordan Paul welcomes all comments and questions.

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“Where did my anger come from?”

Conventional thinking is that it is good and healthy to express anger. While withholding anger is certainly not in anyone’s best interest, using anger to get others to change their behavior carries with it many negative consequences.

I asked myself, “Where is my anger coming from? ” Then i began to review when I got angry and observed :

My anger seemed to be deeply ingrained in my system and it
Was I born with this anger? – my intuition said no.
Was it a learned response and if so to what? Yes, I learned to use anger to get my way and to protect my sensitive nature from my inner feelings of fear, pain, helplessness
How did I feel about myself when I acted out in anger? When I asked that question I learned that I felt at that moment I was not good enough, lovable or adequate.

So actually, in truth my anger is an expression of my weakness and confusion, not my strength. Being afraid to show my vulnerable feelings is a reflection of my fear that I might be judged by others, and more importantly by myself as weak, unmanly, bad, wrong, stupid, or that I can’t handle my softer feelings and I will be rejected, or that I will be manipulated into doing things that I really don’t want to do.

I have come to understand that when my anger is manipulative it does not contain compassion and a desire to learn and therefore, is not coming from my heart and I am not in oneness.

This is the first in a series of articles and discussions with Dr. Jordan Paul, PhD.
Excerpts from Dr. Paul’s article ANGER or REAL STRENGTH

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“13 Best wishes and smiles for 2011”

Throughout the rest of this 2011 and beyond Complementary Medicine Association wishes you and those you love:

May you always make the right moves.

May your cup runneth over with love.

May you always find shelter from any storm.

May you remain good looking and looking good!

May you find the perfect diet for your soul.
(If this face doesn’t make you want to stop eating sausage, nothing will.)

May you find perfect balance in the company you keep.

May you have as much fun as you can before someone makes you stop.

May the worst thing that happens to you come in slobbery pink and furry tan.

May you manage to make time for siesta.

May all the new folks you meet be interesting and kind.

May your accessories always harmonize with your natural beauty!

Should your mouth be bigger than your stomach, may you have a chewing good time!



And may your friends always bring you comfort!

May You Have a Joy filled NEW YEAR
Overflowing with Compassion, Prosperity, Health And Hope

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“Trauma or peace -a New Year’s wish”

Collectively, in the years ‘ past we humans have tried their best to collectively destroying Mother Nature and ourselves.

Let us begin this New Year 2011 with peace in our hearts. Armed with tools of improvement of our own health and wellness and with tested methods and techniques to de-stress ourselves and clarify our purpose of wholistically and sustainably healing the planet.

In our past we have ripped, dug, torn, bombed,slashed and burned other people, poisoned, abused  and corrupted our children and the earth, air and waters of the world.
This has caused a vibration of PTSD or post traumatic shock and stress to be our way of life.
Let us begin today to building positive support from each person and our earth by do just a little bit each day to help improve our food, relationships and well-being and our beloved earth.
May peace, respect, health and good will be generously bestowed on your  and yours in 2011.

Mary Wolken, PhD. and the Staff of Complementary Medicine Association

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“2 secrets to a healthier happier you”

Early AM meditation and exercise will create a new healthier you:

Exercising and meditating early lets your body decrease food cravings which will reduce your calorie intake for the day.
Exercising and meditating daily significantly increases brain functioning for four to ten hours after your AM workout and meditation ends.
Getting up earlier means your body will be more ready to go to sleep earlier and you will sleep deeper and wake more refreshed.
Regular exercise and meditation at the same AM time let’s your endocrine system regulate your hormonal system and encourage a stable circadian rhythm.

Through regular exercise and meditation, the normal body rhythm stabilizes. This critical rhythm cycle prepares the body and mind for waking and exercise several hours before you actually open your eyes.

Regular exercise and meditation decreases stress and improves your health and wellness:

1. Circulating normal levels of hormones through the muscles at regular hours, prepare your body for exercise and meditation by regulating blood pressure, and heart rate.
Your organ systems’ energy can relax, refresh, rest and ready itself to function at peak efficiency at normal hours. Then your metabolism can normalize and in conjunction with all body’s hormones involved in activity and exercise, begin to elevate during sleep and help you be more alert, energized, and ready to exercise and meditate when you do wake up.
2. Increases your digestive energy so you will be hungry after exercise and be able to have a quality breakfast to start the day. Cravings and snacking will decrease, so many people can loss weight.
3. Your colon energy will improve and you will be able to have better elimination at normal times during the day.
4. Weight loss, improved muscle tone and increased stamina are often the bonus for
regular AM exercise and meditation.

The gift to yourself that keeps on giving
Exercising and having a quiet meditative time for yourself daily, brings your mind, body and emotions into a harmony that will increase your peace, patience and communication with yourself and others.

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“Face to face match made by angels”

A perfect match.

Anna Kasper, who took care of nursing home patients, delivered pizza and cleaned offices, had a warm giving personality.

Recipient of first full face transplanta down-to-earth goodness, a love of life, a spirit of giving.

Connie Culp, (Seen on the right.) who waited tables and painted restaurants and shared her time and good will with people before a tragedy nearly took her life. Connie has became the recipient of the first successful near-total face transplant in the United States.

She rose above life’s challenges, and kept her sense of humor no matter how rough things got. This gift has helped her recover.

In a groundbreaking transplant Cleveland Clinic doctors performed a face transplant in 2008.
Anna Kasper’s family made the announcement to give Anna her place in medical history.

Connie’s life after her surgery.
“Connie’s like Anna in a lot of ways,” says Ron Kasper, Anna’s husband, “…enjoyes life, smiles lots and has a great attitude even after everything she’s been through.
Saturday the two families met for the first time.
It was great how much the two clans had in common.

Both are very nice people.
Ron and his son remodel homes and paint for a living.
Connie Culp and her husband had a painting business and remodeled their home together.
The Kaspers had a grandchild who was about a year old at the time of the transplant.
Connie did, too.
The two women were born 14 months apart.
Their skin color is incredibly similar.
Their blood type, identical.

It was Ron and the couple’s three children who agreed to donate Anna’s face back in December 2008, the day after Anna collapsed and died on her back porch.

Their son, Ronald, now 21, found Anna slumped over at the bottom of the back steps she was purple. Paramedics revived her on the way to Lakewood Hospital, but tests showed what the family already knew. The 44-year-old woman was brain dead.

The family folowed Anna’s wishes.
In life she shared her time, money and many things with other people. In death her organs and  tissues continue to give life to others.
However, no one was prepared for the call from a specialist from the Cleveland Clinic, who called the house to ask for Anna’s face.  The family only took minutes to agree.

Anna wished to be cremated, so there wasn’t going to be an open casket. And that Anna was already an organ donor and her face bones, muscles and other tissues were a perfect match. This was a miracle in itself.

“But the overriding factor was we knew it was what Anna would’ve wanted,” says Ron, his voice breaking as he fights back tears.
“My mom would say, ‘Hell if I can’t use it and somebody else can, they can have it,’ ” Becky says.

No doubt Connie needed a face. In 2004 her common-law husband shot her in in the face, Connie was so disfigured, children ran from her and called her a monster.
Her nose was missing. So was her right eye, her lower eyelids, her upper lip, her top teeth. She had to breathe through a hole in her throat and eat through a tube. Most of her vision was gone.

On Dec. 10, 2008, surgeons at the Cleveland Clinic spent 23 hours removing skin and muscle, veins and arteries, teeth and bone from Anna and sewing them onto what remained of Connie Culp’s face, surgery that changed her life.

Connie, 47, has been thanking her donor from the moment she stepped out on the public stage in 2009, never able to name her because she didn’t know who she was.
Today she can.

Neil Lantzy, Cleveland ClinicBecky Kasper hugs Connie Culp after meeting her for the first time Saturday. Becky, her brother, sister and father agreed to donate her mother’s face to Connie after Anna Kasper died of a heart attack.
Connie doesn’t look like Anna because their bone structure is different.
“But I can definitely see the resemblance in the nose,” Becky says. “I know she’s smiling down on this, that she’s very happy.”

More than 50 people benefited from Anna’s donated organs and tissue.

People Helping People

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“”Afraid of germs/disease get a stuffed virus”

Finally, a parent produces a toy to help decrease germ fears in young children. Helping your children, students or patients to learn to take care of themselves without fear is the goal of disease education and hygiene classes. Viruses, the cold gem, the flu bug, ear ache virus are a few of the teaching tools developed by this company.

“Modern medicine” and biopharm. industries have done plenty to amp up people’s helplessness to fight germs or illnesses.
One parent did not know how to help calm her young 4-year-old son’s fear of germs after preschool lessons on hygiene. Then mom found Giant Microbes, a company dedicated to creating teaching toys with a message.
After giving her son a stuffed viral germ toy, he quite incentently wiping down everything he encountered with anti-viral tissues and could return to being a happy child again.

Will you find a giant stuffed cold germs, or cuddly E. coli, hugworthy heartworm under your tree this season?

Mini microbes are the new items this year, measles, rubella and the oh-so-popular diarrhea are the new Christmas tree ornaments. The toys are true to the microbes they represent.
Sales have spread virally through Facebook into niche markets such as museum shops and college bookstores. The toys depict each microbe at a million times its actual size or larger, and each comes with an often breezy but informative information card about their origins and avoiding illnesses they spread.
Now the Giant Microbes line has gone beyond the common microbes to exotic ones such as malaria and sleeping sickness, tiny critters such as dust mites and bed bugs, and water dwellers like copepods and algae. Some students take them to classrooms during their student teaching stints. Others use them as biology study tools.
Some American Red Cross divisions use the stuffed red blood cell in school presentations, and the Education Centre Library serving Ontario’s Canadore College and Nipissing University has dozens of Giant Microbes in its lending inventory.
Resources

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” Spirit of happiness and hope”

“All of life is a journey; which paths we take, what we look back on, and what we look forward to is up to us. We determine our destination, what kind of road we will take to get there, and how happy we are when we get there. From A Little Book of Happiness”

Never, did I dream that on a trip to the Sunflower Market in Tucson, AZ., I would meet a such a friendly determined courageous and positive woman.

I was simply browsing in an isle as this woman rush past me with her cart and labeler. The isle was narrow with displays, she excused herself as she breezed by me to work a few feet from where I was. She was so intent on her work, I commented that she looked like a woman on a mission. She agreed.

This woman exuded positive upbeat energy like a generator.
I told her it was refreshing to talk with someone that seemed to be happy to serve people. She said, “You know last week there was someone in the store that told me how awful the world was.

I responded, “You know I’m so happy and grateful for all I have my boyfriend and I love each other. Even though we face these challenges:

The challenges

  • “…Erik has been battling kidney failure,( I.G.A. Naprothy; Berger’s Disease) for over two years now. I am giving him hemodialysis at home every day in a pleasant- positive environment.
    Our house is in foreclosure, because all our money is going towards his care, bills, and he has not worked in a long time.
    Our insurance has told us that we must do the transplants at a hospital outside of Arizona , the hospital needs to have a five star rating, there are none in Arizona.
    The medical doctor told us he will need a double transplant – kidney and liver. “
  • Erik’s dialysis nurse Suzi Wood who has been such  a huge help and inspiration to both of us threw this whole ordeal is retiring. We honestly wouldn’t be where we are in our health and mind set without her in our lives. We are so grateful for her support.”

The Good News

  • The medical doctor told us he will need a double transplant – kidney and liver, but the good news is going on the two organ wait list usually takes less time to get the transplants.
  • The foreclosure has been extended, so we won’t have to move at the end of the November.
    Foreclosure is not the worst thing that could happen. When we move  we will make better financial choices and get a place to live that does not require the upkeep this one does.
    Sunflower Market where Barbara works has totally supported her. If she needs to leave to go with him to doctor or do the dialysis, they say do what you need to do, we’ll see you later.

I have so much to be thankful for and happy about.”

I arranged to meet this couple together outside of work. At the interview, I was greeted by two very upbeat people that talked about going to NASCAR over the weekend. It had been two years since Erik had been able to attend the NASCAR event. His health is finally stable! Never would I guess they were facing so many daunting life threatening challenges.
Erik Ringquist is 43 years old and looks in good shape. He was captain of his Jackson , Minnesota High football team. He stays home now and does most everything there as he awaits the word from the Denver Hospital to come up for their testing.

Erik attributes his positive attitude to his father, Allen Ringquist, for never letting him quit and always giving him a good work ethic, and to his football coach, Tyrone Wacker, who also put strong values and a strong “never give up” attitude in Eriks’ head.

His devoted mate, Barbara Barger is 45 years old and works full time at Sunflower Farmers Market and has learned to be a dialysis tech and helps Erik stick the 15 gauge needles in his upper arm each day to begin the hemodialysis treatment that lasts about 3.5 hours.

In my interview with them, I asked Barbara if she had two wishes what would they be?
She replied “I would want Erik to be healthy and to have the most skilled doctors for his transplant team and through his recovery.
What would be your second wish? What would you want for you?

“I want world peace; I don’t like war.”

Complementary Medicine Association and all our readers wish you both the best. We will update you on their progress.

In the photo above they are holding a gift from the Coca Cola company of a gift of a cap and T-shirt signed by their favorite NASCAR drivers and sent to them with best wishes for a successful placement on the transplant list and a speedy replacement of  the challenged organs.

“Where you now stand is a result of thoughts and feelings that you have offered before, but where you are going is a result of your perspective of where you now stand. – Abraham-Hicks” quoted on Positive Quote site by Laura on November 22, 2010

Mary Wolken, Editor CMA NEWS
compmed.com

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“Save lives before you die”

More than 109,698 men, women and children currently need life-saving organ transplants.

Active transplant candidates as of today 72,341.

Check latest stats here

  • Every 10 minutes another name is added to the national organ transplant waiting list.
  • An average of 18 people die each day from the lack of available organs for transplant.
  • In 2009, there were 8,021 deceased organ donors and 6,610 living organ donors resulting in 28,465 organ transplants.
  • Last year, more than 42,000 grafts were made available for transplant by eye banks within the United States.

Two types of donor gifts -Living (organ and tissue) and End of Life

It is becoming more common to donate organs and partial organs and tissues while alive. Kidneys are the most common organ donated by living donors. Other organs that can be donated include a lobe of a lung, partial liver, pancreas or intestine.

Although the decision to become a living donor involves careful consideration, being a living donor offers others an alternative to waiting on the national transplant waiting list for an organ from a deceased donor.

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