The art of listening
Listening to another is an acquired art.
Great listeners are in demand in our under sensitive over stimulated, pressured world. Simply hearing another person’s words is never enough. The other person who is talking to you leaves frustrated and feeling like this person does not care enough about me to hear me out and pay attention to me.
Developing calmness by practicing deep breathing exercises, martial arts, meditation is part of the process one may use to be anchored in that quiet space within your heart before the crisis with another happens. This skill should be cultivated in our children from conception.
Listening from your heart.
When someone is speaking to us, First Calm and Relax yourself before they begin to talk. The feeling I get when I’m in that calm some is one of complete focus on the other person. I listen from a caring space deep inside.
I can observe how the other person has reacted to the experiences being shared. I never assume I know what they are feeling or thinking. Asking open-ended questions about what they are discussing let’s me get their words and as I look into their eyes I begin to sense the pain, anger, frustration..
Being a good listener is like being a good detective sometimes. One must ferret out of what you are observing some of what they cannot tell you with their words. Remember even if a person believes they are telling you the absolute truth, Truth is colored by the person’s past experiences and influenced by their emotional state and overall physical, mental and social well-being.
Your skills as a listener can be influenced by:
Practicing communication techniques
Practice. Listen, Practice, Listen