Great listeners are in demand

The art of listening

Listening to another is an acquired art.
Great listeners are in demand in our under sensitive over stimulated, pressured world. Simply hearing another person’s words is never enough. The other person who is talking to you leaves frustrated and feeling like this person does not care enough about me to hear me out and pay attention to me.

Developing calmness by practicing deep breathing exercises, martial arts, meditation is part of the process one may use to be anchored in that quiet space within your heart before the crisis with another happens. This skill should be cultivated in our children from conception.

Listening from your heart.
When someone is speaking to us, First Calm and Relax yourself before they begin to talk. The feeling I get when I’m in that calm some is one of complete focus on the other person. I listen from a caring space deep inside.

I can observe how the other person has reacted to the experiences being shared. I never assume I know what they are feeling or thinking. Asking open-ended questions about what they are discussing let’s me get their words and as I look into their eyes I begin to sense the pain, anger, frustration..

Being a good listener is like being a good detective sometimes. One must ferret out of what you are observing some of what they cannot tell you with their words. Remember even if a person believes they are telling you the absolute truth, Truth is colored by the person’s past experiences and influenced by their emotional state and overall physical, mental and social well-being.

Your skills as a listener can be influenced by:

Personnal background,
Practicing communication techniques
Practice. Listen, Practice, Listen

Change the Flow – Create New Self

Creating a new self, don’t be stuck. You are total
energy, a spiritual being made in perfection. Learn to
reach for that true love, deep abiding, creative,
peaceful being that you are designed to be.

You are filled with creative energy, deep intuition,
guidance and surrounded with love and success.
Learn how to awaken your true self

Forget the past
Live a life full of hope, joy, prosperity and helpfulness.

Try the following meditative affirmation or prayer. It changes conscienceness rapidly.

When consciousness shifts you will have new insights, better communication, and opportunities will come to you.

If you visualize another person who could use a boost of positive energy, do the affirmation for him or her.

Open my options and territory.
Keep me from harm and let me cause no harm.
Protect me from my ignorance.
Thank you.”
–modification of the Prayer of Jabez copyright Dr. M.Wolken 2008

7 Steps to Trust Building and Client Evaluation – The Art of Listening

Posted on May 13, 2008.

Assessing the integrative health needs of the person over the phone the art of listening.

Making harmonious choices to help support someone grows physically, mentally and emotionally began in a simple way. The best experience of my life came the day I was privileged to have my first homeopathic interview. I felt like I was being listened to at all levels of my being for the first time in my life. I never realized how important truly being listening to from the heart really is. This consultation changed my life. I always knew that my life would be spent helping others to help themselves in a natural holistic manner. I’ve been perfecting listening skills ever since. There is an art and a science to learning to listen to another human under stress. It doesn’t matter the age of the person seeking your coaching or counseling the steps are the same. Listening is a skill that takes time, modeling and sensitivity.

1. The art of listening is development of a calm sensitivity to the person without emotionally identifying with them. Developing any skill takes time and practice, Caution: If the person needing your help has a problem that is similar to an issue from your own emotional history you must be vigilant. If you find yourself getting emotionally involved on any level, you need to do something to regain perspective. Like taking a drink, excusing yourself and leaving the room for a bit and doing some deep breathing. You can then resume the session with an objective perspective.

2. Listen to them. Is this a medical emergency and the person needs to go to ER or the situation the person is in dangerous to them or others?

3. If not a medical emergency, being straight forward and to the point is important. Ask little and listen to the person’s story. The thoroughness of the history depends on the urgency of the situation.

4. Do they have a history of wanting everything done for them, take pills, no diet changes blaming and being codependent, attitude.

5. Asking questions. You can ask an open-ended question that allows them to open up and feel comfortable with you. When the information slows Ask a good leading questions. Repeat what you hear then find out frequency of the problem, how other parts of the body systems are doing. Any surgeries for what, any medications, allergies, traumas like broken bones, accidents, early childhood history and family relationships.

6. Some times what the person doesn’t say is more important than what they relate to you. Listening to the change in tone , speed and hesitancy. Is this an old issue or involved with other health and emotional crises.

7. Patient expectations -honesty-quick fix Assessment leads to determining options for this individual. Options may be determined by priorities of client-trust levels, money, time and commitment to getting involved and helping themselves.

Assessing the integrative health needs of the person over the phone the art of listening. For more information on developing compassionate and trusting client relations and ways to be calm while your treading through life

Leave a question or suggestion for Dr.Stress-Less.

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Learning to listen

Learning to Listen – Music to My Ears  Listening
Secrets to Healthy Client/Personal Relationships

There is an art and a science to listening to another human or animal. It doesn’t matter the age of the person whom you’re communicating, coaching or counseling with. Using this skill will improve your self-confidence, inspire your interpersonal relationships and assist clients and businesses to treat each other in a peaceful, loving, respectful manner. Every person wants to truly be listened to.

My first experience of being listened to changed my life. I never anticipated that an initial health interview could set the stage for my career of helping others. I felt, as I shared my challenges with this doctor, that I was listened to on all levels of my being and was heard for the first time in my life. Since the summer of 1979 I’ve been perfecting listening skills.

Learning to Listen

Secret 1. Practice the art of calmness and sensitiveness to all energies. Before working with another person meditate in the morning, and before a session do a few deep-breathing exercises to bring your energy peacefully within yourself. If you have seen someone else before this person, clear all thoughts of their problems or crises from your mind.

Secret 2. When the next person calls or comes through your door, greet the person either at the door with a firm handshake and make eye contact, or if this is a phone consultation always speak with a low, calm, confident voice.

Secret 3. Thank them for coming or calling and ask how you can be of assistance. Assess if this is a medical emergency.  If it is, then send them there immediately. Some people think they would like to avoid the medical bills by coming to you, but this is foolish both for the client and the practitioner. Assure them that after they see the doctor, you would like them to report the findings to you. Be straight forward, clear about your limits and to the point.

Secret 4. If this is not a medical emergency, ask them to tell you their story.  Listen with your heart focused, respectful and loving. Show them by your presence that no one is more important in this moment than this person. Take notes.

Secret 5. Let them talk, only asking questions for clarification when the conversation lags. Don’t interrupt a person’s train of emotional memories and thoughts. This causes them to lose some of their intensity and you lose time and details important to determining the best avenue of care

Secret 6. Recap what you understand the health challenges to be. Go over your notes and impressions before speaking with them. Clarify the situation until both of you are comfortable and clear about how to proceed before suggesting a protocol to the client.

Secret 7. Explain your services, how they may help and where they are comfortable in beginning. Lay out a plan, the costs and method of payment, and time of the next session or consultation. Part of listening is observing and sensing the comfort zone of the person. If the person cannot decide, let them go home and think about it and call you. Set a time for this call to keep the communication clear between you both. People caring enough to listen with their heart builds relationships.

Next article: Finding the comfort zone.

Remember, building trusting relationships is a hallmark of effective listening.

Your New Self

Creating a new self, don’t be stuck. You are total
energy, a spiritual being made in perfection. Learn to
reach for that true love, deep abiding creative,
peaceful being that you are designed to be.

You are filled with creative energy, deep intuitional
guidance and surrounded with love and success.
Learn how to awaken your true self. Forget the past
and live life full of hope, joy, prosperity and


Helping create peace from the inside out.

A welcome relief.
You are invited to discover the most unique relaxing experience of your life, the most deeply relaxing experience I’ve felt outside meditation. Make an appointment to treat yourself to deep stress relief.

Why it works. In quantum physics terms there is no distance between people. So why take the time to come to my physical office. In the comfort of your own home we can meet at a time convenient to us both.

How it works: By both of us focusing on what is stressing you. Your body will direct me to finding the most natural way to remove the imbalance in the energy fields and tell me how to harmonize your physical and emotional energy.

How long does a session take? Usually 1-2 hrs. You call at the appointed time. We talk about the issue, if you wish to. If you aren’t comfortable talking about it, just strongly think, visualize and feel how this situation makes you feel. Then relax and forget about it. When the session is over, I will call you. If you are deeply relaxing, don’t answer. Just call or email me later with how you’re feeling.

How much does it cost? Contact me at

Located in innerspace, the peaceful, unique approach to client care.
A range of health services are offered.
Browse this site when you want to relax and try other relaxing exercises for free.

There are other health consulting services available.

To your better health.

Before a session check your message board email to confirm session time.
Turn off all distractions and don’t answer your phone.
Call at the appointed time.
Then relax and enjoy.
Call me back at the appointed time for our followup conversation.

Looking forward to working with you soon. Dr. M

Relaxing so important.

From before we were born, our brain and body have been making adjustments to changes in the physical space around us, emotional challenges and sense that our world is a little crazy and out of control. In response to these constant changes our body produces chemicals called hormones to deal with these challenges. It is so important to be able to daily shed these stressful happenings in ways that are fun and comfortable to us.

Check out our first fun and relaxing experience called Sunflower Relaxation in our gallary.